My mom used to tell me that I shouldn’t write anything down that I didn’t want read. I think about it everyday I sit down to my laptop to write my daily slice or update my facebook status, or a tweet. There’s always plenty of things that I want to say, but don’t. It makes me wary of who is reading it and what their intentions are.
Today I walked out to my car with the instructional coach and she was stopped by a person who had just received an evaluation and wanted some immediate feedback on the outcome (mind you… the instructional coach wasn’t present for this evaluation, but she’s the go-to for these questions). I thought to myself: “I couldn’t do that job.” but then… I got my Masters in her job…but I can’t be able to do her job (can I?); everybody telling me only the bad parts of their day (like students now?)? How does anyone deal with that constantly? How does administration deal with that constantly?
I’m blessed to be surrounded by fixers. People go to my friends for assistance (the two main definitions of assistance in this case are : 1. complaint department 2. people who will fix this problem for me). I often do this to several of my friends and I like to think the feeling is mutual (I like to think I’m a junior-fixer ::puts on Bob the builder hat::). But what happens when it gets to be too much from so many sources?
When I go to one of my friend-mentors, she listens to my complaints or problems (minor issues I turn into epic disasters as I repeatedly go over them in my head) and then she asks me “okay, now what are you going to do about it?”
No lie, I used to be like “Jesus, I just want you to agree with me that this issue sucks and bask in my self pity, come ON” but now the tables are turned. Someone came to me a couple weeks ago and complained and some revelation in my head made me say : “k, now what are you going to do to change it?” And I immediately asked myself: “holy goodness, is this how she feels when I talk?!” I made a note to check my attitude frequently.
I stick to my mantra of dont-write-down-anything-you-don’t-want-read. I want to be someone people can go to to help them fix problems. (Disclaimer: this includes you three who read this blog, I’m not saying don’t come to me with problems, I LIKE fixing things. (let’s not lie, it makes me feel in control of a world I don’t have control in. Like using parentheses INSIDE parentheses.)) But what if there’s nothing you can do? How do you tell someone to just accept it and work around it or deal? How do you do it yourself? Am I complaining now? Would my friend-mentor ask me how I’m going to fix this? (stay tuned for possible comment haha)
And then sometimes I read my ramblings in slices and I think “Jesus, who wants to hear this crap that they hear every day at school coming from me? Does this even make sense?”
On a lighter note: tonight at Walmart, the older gentleman that walked into the store before me waved his hand in front of the automatic doors before he entered; creating the illusion that he opened them with magic. Glad I’m not the only one who still does that.